Why is shyness the cause of anger and sadness? Well, it is because shyness HINDERS us from getting what we desire. When a man is shy, he does not dare to approach the women he likes. He just keeps to himself, drowning in self-pity and fear.
Why do some men so prone to give into their shyness? It is because before making any attempt to approach women some men start to imagine all kinds of negative possibilities Inside their mind they picture women rejecting them and laughing at them while blocking out the positive thoughts of possibly succeeding in their attempts.
This SHYNESS acts as a defense mechanism in SHIELDING them from experiencing those unpleasant outcomes! But the problem is that if we do not take the chances, we will get NO CHANCES!
Shyness comes from not wanting to be subjected to the opinions of others, usually because:
(1) They think other will always view them negatively.
(2) They have inferiority complex and feel vulnerable.
It is even worse when interacting with a beautiful girl because if a good-looking girl rejects us, we will feel that it must be because of our UGLINESS, correct?
So what is the solution?
The only way to overcome shyness is to cultivate positive behaviors and thought patterns that can lead to a better outcome. One must learn to grab hold of opportunities as they come and to take the necessary action.
One must build up self-confidence so that he is not easily sway by the view of others. One must learn to see both the positive as well as the negative outcomes, and strive to improve the chances for positive outcomes. Besides shyness, I believe another important reason for the lack of success with women is not making enough effort to approach women.
Here are the 4 excuses that we sometimes use for not being able to get a girlfriend:
(1) “I do not know what to say to her”
(2) “She may already have a boyfriend”
(3) “I am scared”
(4) “It was not the right moment” (she was seated quite far away from me, she was talking on the phone, a friend came just before I approached etc…)
But, I am very sure all these are not valid reasons. The main reason for inaction is because that you do not want to KEEP YOUR OWN PROMISES.
Most people can only keep their words in working situation or if there is a risk for not doing it. Organizations have more powers to force people to honor their words and do what they have to do. But there is comparatively little power on people to keep their promises in other situations?
You heard about a guy who first met his new girlfriend in the subway. You get excited and motivated, because you believe this can happen to you too. You believe you deserve this like anyone else and you say to yourself: “The next day I will walk up to the next sexy girl I meet in the subway!”
On the following morning, when waiting for the train on your way to work place you see this stunning beauty and you really want to get to know her even though she is a stranger. But then, you realize that she appears “in a bad mood”, like “she looks like she wants to be alone” and you do not want “to run the risk of being late” believing after all “there is still another chance and you can see her again tomorrow”.
These self-invented excuses cause you to pass up the chance to approach her. You have kept your words to your employer but you fail to honor the promises for yourself. This is the main cause for not achieving the desired level of freedom, enjoyment and success with women.
When you begin keeping your own promises and consistently act on them, miracles will start to happen. Every frustration, unhappiness and disappointment in life is because most of the time we fail to keep our own promises about what we should do. On the other hand, every success and enjoyment is the result of following our hearts and keeping our own promises.
Approaching women is not just about overcoming the fear of rejection, having the right opening conversation or doing things right. It is being honest to yourself and to act on what you desire. If you want her, then keep your words and give yourself the opportunity to get her. She may give you a cold shoulder, but all that matters is at least you have done yourself some justice in making an attempt rather than regretting later for inaction.
The bottom line is KEEPING YOUR OWN PROMISES has a great impact to everything in life and dating women!