I’ve made plenty of mistakes with women over the years. Even now, when you’d think I’d learned my lesson, my beautiful wife still keeps me on my toes.
Other relationships haven’t lasted or gone so well (knocks on wood).
Looking back now it’s painful to remember some of the things I did…. and what might have been if I had better guidance along the way.
Thing is, us guys aren’t always the quickest studies when it comes to relationships. Sure we enjoy the chase. But the relationship part, and women in general, sometimes seems like a maze of contradiction and confusion.
But fear not. I am here to offer you the combined wisdom of my… ahem… years of experience and also a few things I picked up by reading an entire library of books on psychology, relationships and women.
So here it is:
7 things you can do to make your woman fall in love with you every day (in no particular order)
#1 Confidence. You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it again. If want to be attractive to women in general, and your woman in particular. You need to have confidence in yourself.
Now confidence isn’t something you can fake (although many try) in the long term. Sure, if you’re single and dating, you can fool a girl for a night. But once you’re in a relationship you can’t hide the truth.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that you can build confidence. And you should do this every day of your life.
So the question then is how do you do this? And the answer is simple. Work at improving yourself everyday of your life. Improve your skills in some area of your life (it might be your job or profession, or a hobby) being truly excellent at something, anything is the seed of true and lasting self-confidence.
And I’ll let you in on a little secret. All those things that make you less confident. Maybe you’re a little overweight, balding, maybe you’re shy…. Well all of these so-called ‘handicaps’ actually give you a huge advantage in attracting women (and your woman) to you.
You see, if can develop confidence despite those ‘handicaps’ then it is even more impressive to women than the good-looking Adonis who is confident. Because there must be something really special about you if you are confident in spite of those things.
#2 Chivalry is not dead. It’s just been forgotten by a long list of men. This makes it all the more endearing when you are the one who is chivalrous. But there is a secret to it that a lot of guys miss.
You see, most guys will open doors, pull out chairs, and offer assistance to women who they are trying to impress. This is fine, but the motive is obvious to women and they think you’re trying to impress them.
The secret is to not do it to impress, but because you think it is the right thing to do. Meaning that you do these things for all women. Not just your girlfriend, wife, or date. Especially endearing is when you are courteous to older women.
#3 The quickest way to kill love in a relationship is to criticize your partner. Complain about them. And generally nag.
I like to think of relationships as a bank account. Doing good things (such as the chivalry mentioned above) puts funds into that account. It builds up.
Being complimentary. Impressing her with your confidence. All these build up the account.
But every criticism. Every sarcastic comment or complaint is like a withdrawal. And if you make it a habit, sooner or later that relationship bank will run dry and you’ll wonder what went wrong.
99% of the time, if you take a step back, criticism is hardly ever called for. And even if it is, is never the best way to change behavior.
Numerous scientific studies have been made that show positive reinforcement is not only more effective, it is the only way to change behavior without making the other person feel negatively towards you or about themselves.
So if you want to build up that account. Appreciate her. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
#4 Cindy Lauper was 100% right. All girls do just want to have fun. And if your relationship is turning into a giant bore-fest, it’s up to you, not her to make it fun.
Remember, women want to live in the world you provide for them. They don’t want to be responsible for your happiness.
So relax. Live a little. Don’t take life so seriously that you can’t laugh at yourself or get a little goofy sometimes.
It’s all too easy for us to get complacent. But remember back to those first dates. I’m willing to be there was much more laughter back then. Bring it back, and you won’t be disappointed.
#5 Show some interest in her.
What do you think is the biggest complaint that women have about men?
If you said, “they don’t listen” then pat yourself on the back. Because you’re dead on.
Look. You don’t need (or want) to become her new BFF and chat for hours about the latest gossip on the block. But if you’re like most guys you could do with a little instruction on how to listen properly.
Want to know the secret? Ask sincere questions. Then shut up and listen.
You really don’t need to say much. It’s the showing an interest in the first place that counts.
And remember, women speak in a code which is quite foreign to most men. They speak almost entirely with their emotions, not logic. I’ll go into this topic more in another article. But for now, remember this. If she is telling you about a problem she has, it is not, I repeat, is not an invitation for you to solve it.
#6 Don’t stop being the ‘catch’
The dream of every woman is to one day hook and reel in a great guy. A guy that if he wanted could have his pick of any woman. (Hint: A truly confident Man).
When you first got together, if you’re like most guys, you were closer to this ideal than you are now. Fact is, relationships make us lazy. Soft.
This doesn’t mean that you should go around brazenly flirting with other women. What it does mean is that you should never stop being the Man that she can love.
Essentially, you don’t start acting desperate, needy. And you don’t start placing her above everything else in your life. Keep your dreams alive. And be willing to walk away if necessary (this is key).
#7 Romance. I once read (and I believe this to be true) that in order to experience a truly satisfying sexual life, a woman needs romance first. Whereas, to enjoy a sense of romance, a man must have a satisfying sexual life.
Which is where a lot of the conflict in relationships come from.
The woman wants romance before she’ll have sex.
And the man wants sex before he’ll get romantic.
They are both standing in front of the proverbial stove and telling it to “give me some heat, and then I’ll give you some wood”.
How do you get around this? Easy. Now that you know, you just have to introduce a little romance back into your life.
But how do we do this? I’ll let you figure that much out for yourself. But I’ll give you a hint: just have fun with it!